Wild &*%$! Guessing is when we break down topics that could be analyzed, pondered and pontificated ad nauseum and instead boil them down to a tender, tasty morsel of not quite complete bull*%&t.
Well, it's here. The Real Hockey Season. With apologies to those in Toronto, Edmonton, Ottawa and some American cities, tomorrow is when the real hockey teams start playing the games that count. Though the push for the playoffs can certainly elicit its own brand of joy and/or cries of shame and sadness, it's nothing like the actual post season. Pretty sure no one was studying the box score from last week's Leafs v. Sens Battle of Onterriblebarn-burner. So, as the losers dust off their golf clubs and start desperately combing the roster for draft day trade bait, we (along with everyone else and their monkey) boldly step up to make our own first round playoff predictions.
Two Russians finished 1-2 at the top of the NHL points race. But really, nationality and a penchant for putting pucks in the back of the net are about all they have in common. Pittsburgh Penguin Evgeni Malkin officially won the 2009 Art Ross Trophy for most points with 113, with Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals playing runner-up with 110. (Don't shed any tears for Ovie -- he managed to nab the Maurice Richard trophy, for most goals, with 56). Last year, Ovechkin became the first Russian to win the Art Ross.
But beyond the numbers, these are two very different guys. Hell, they even went so far as a public feud and requisite feel-good high-five moment. Ovechkin's the one who flies into the boards in spasms of joy with every goal (drawing the ire of Dapper Don) and is quick with a funny remark or a joke served up in gap-toothed broken English. Meanwhile, Malkin quietly dominates while playing second fiddle to a kid named Crosby when it comes to marketing the Pens -- and even further down the list when it comes to hyping the league. Could the 2009 playoffs change anything?
We hear it all the time. Have since we were kids. "Don't drink and drive." It's pretty simple, really. And yet, every weekend, thousands of people still take the ridiculous chance of getting behind the wheel all boozed up. The death of Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and two friends yesterday as a result of being struck by a drunk driver is just the most recent example of this sort of tragedy.
Tied for 39th through nine holes in the first round of the 2009 Masters at Augusta, Tiger Woods is clearly going for the come-from-behind-and-throw-everyone-into-a-writhing-state-of-golf-induced-awe approach.
Above, Woods silently scolds his ball with a series of aggressive mind bullets to ensure the wretched sphere will never disobey him again. If that doesn't work, there's always this.
Yikes. Anyone with a pair of eyes and even a rudimentary grasp of numbers can see how bad the New York Islanders have stunk this season, but last night has proved to be the turd of all turds. This once, somewhat-storied franchise suffered its worst loss ever falling 9-0 to the Carolina Hurricanes. (Shots were 57-12!) Now granted, the Canes are the hottest team in the league right now while the Isles current temperature hovers somewhere between Frosty's undercarriage and that dead baby penguin in March of the Penguins, so it's not like fans would be expecting a miracle, but still.
"Who's that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib." -- Monty Burns
The 2009 NCAA men's basketball final between the Tar Heels of North Carolina and the Spartans of Michigan State was played in Motown last night and from the outset, two burning questions remained -- Could MSU use its home court advantage to its... uh, advantage? And would UNC's Tyler Hansbrough blink at least once during this all-important game?
We're going to try and make this a regular segment here at The Cheap Seats, where we recommend a few articles found over the weekend that are worth another read and maybe even a print out for your special sit-down time.
This weekend, between sessions of vigorous exercise and selfless philanthropic activity, we came upon a few different keepers. Note: You'll notice a distinct lack of Final Four coverage. The reason? The Madness is everywhere right now, the following suggestions are just for those chosen tender moments away from college hoops before Michigan State upsets UNC tomorrow night. The first page-turner we stumbled on is from this month's issue of GQ and chronicles one man's experience working for Lenny Dykstra, former pro baseball player and World Series champ who became a financial planning guru with the help of CNBC's Jim "Mad Money" Cramer. Dykstra used his financial clout to launch The Player's Club magazine to give pro athletes and other billionaires economic advice like which private jet to buy and how to hide a dead hooker when on vacation.
Now, it is true that Toronto isn't a baseball-first city. But the team's been here for over three decades, won multiple World Series and should certainly have earned both players and fans respect by now. Of course, as we've seen with the Raptors from time to time, American players, fans and TV networks tend to allow what happens north of the border to stay north of the border. The only real solution is a little thing, usually referred to in sporting nomenclature as "winning." That said, it's easy to point out talented baseball players and say they'd be much bigger if they played in New York or Boston. This is not brain science. What is more difficult to determine is whether a player like Halladay would be a more prominent figure in the league if he simply played south of the border. Would he really get more attention if he played in Milwaukee? Or Tampa? Hell, even Cleveland?
As qualifiers continue for the world's best players to reach the big dance in South Africa next year, a new documentary takes a look at the way the game is embraced, loved and enjoyed in various parts of the globe. The Soccer Project started when two former U.S. college stars, Luke Boughen and Gwendolyn Oxenham, ditched their Stateside lives to see how everyday people enjoy their favorite sport around the world. Oh, and they filmed their adventures to make a documentary called Footplay. By the looks of the trailer, these first-time filmmakers have the brass ones (pick-up in Bolivian prison?!) to really make this an intriguing and entertaining study of futbol's grassroots. Side note: Why the sweet hell didn't Franklin Foer think to film his research for How Soccer Explains The World?
This one's been floating 'round the interwibbles since yesterday but it's too good not to mention again. For all the shootout partypoopers critics that decry this game-ending celebration of skill as an abomination on par with light beer or puggles, one look at this glorious innovation by Sweden's Linus Omark should be enought to take the blinders off. Omark, an Edmonton Oilers prospect playing in the Swedish Elite League, popped this beauty in a recent international friendly against Switzerland.
Sure he had some help from the crossbar, but the move still begs the question -- what other golf/soccer shot will hit hockey next? We've seen the centre ice slapper and plenty of deke genius. Plus, putting just doesn't translate well and a corner kick would be sort of impossible. May we suggest The Floater?
